By Laura DeKraker Lang-Ree, childhood cancer advocate, speaker, and bestselling author of The Cancer Parent’s Handbook: What Your Oncologist Doesn’t Have Time to Tell You
Key Takeaways
- Finishing treatment is a beginning, not just an ending. Survivorship can bring anxiety and hypervigilance even when you expected relief, and that is a normal response to trauma.
- Your body remembers. Months of fight-or-flight can keep the nervous system on high alert long after treatment ends, showing up as insomnia, irritability, or spiraling thoughts.
- Small tools make a real difference. Naming the trauma response, grounding, breathwork, gentle movement, and nourishing food all help the body and mind settle.
- These strategies are for the whole family. Survivors, AYA patients, and caregivers can all use them, and most can be adapted for a younger child.
- You can start today. Even during active treatment, these practices are safe, simple, and free to try.
This blog post is for our whole community: the parents and caregivers holding everything together, and our adolescent and young adult (AYA) patients navigating this in their own bodies. Many of these tools are yours to use directly; others you can adapt for a younger child. Take what fits.
What Does Finishing Cancer Treatment Really Feel Like?
Throughout treatment, didn’t you dream about the finish line and how amazing it would feel if you were lucky enough to get there? Your heroic comeback, the day you finally got your “old life” back? As the caregiver for both my child and my Dad’s cancer journey, I sure did. I thought that once my daughter Cecilia’s cancer was in remission, I would be filled with relief, gratitude, and joy. I thought I’d be walking on water 24/7.
While yes, there were joyful moments of anticipation as we got closer to the finish line, if I’m being honest, most of the time all I felt was fear. Pesky, sometimes debilitating, looking-over-your-shoulder fear. Because here’s what nobody tells you: wrapping up treatment isn’t the end of the journey. It’s the next step. And of course, it’s a good step—a great one! But the emotional rollercoaster is real, and for most of us, it sneaks up at a time when we expect to only feel relief.
This blog post and the accompanying resources from CAC2 serve as your reset guide as you transition from active treatment to survivorship. Whether you are an AYA or adult survivor, or caregiver, you’ll find information loaded with the practical tools, tricks, and lots of compassion—all of the things I needed and curated during my cancer journey, and eventually used to create my award-winning book, The Cancer Parent’s Handbook: What Your Oncologist Doesn’t Have Time to Tell You.
So let’s get to it.
Why the “End of Treatment” Might Not Feel Like the “End”
Survivorship is the phase that begins when active cancer treatment ends. For many survivors and caregivers, it does not arrive as pure relief. Instead, it can bring anxiety, insomnia, and a lingering sense of being on guard, because the body can stay in fight-or-flight mode long after the medical crisis has passed. These reactions are normal trauma responses rather than signs of weakness, and gentle practices like grounding, breathwork, movement, and good nutrition can help the nervous system reset.
If you’re reading this, you, your child, or a loved one ran a cancer marathon. Now, as a survivor, it’s time to care for yourself in a completely new way. Start by acknowledging the trauma you’ve experienced while celebrating how amazing it is that you are done with treatment.
You did it!
Once the daily chemo, seemingly endless pokes, procedures, and doctors fade away, you’d think your mind and body would simply slide into a chill state. While there are exceptions, generally it’s a bit more complicated. Yes! There is joy in finishing treatment. But trauma, stress, and those endless months of fight-or-flight mode leave us wired for danger long after the crisis ends. What does that look like? For both survivors and caregivers, this could look like recurring insomnia, panic, being cranky for no reason, and negative spiraling. These are not a sign of weakness; it’s a normal part of post-treatment. This is how your body protects and warns you that you need some help, because we are not designed to live this way long-term.
And research shows that it doesn’t matter whether you’re the one who endured the medical trauma or were the caregiver. Trauma kicks up our animal instinct. A certain smell, a song, a date on the calendar, or an innocent question from a friend can send your heart racing and your mind spiraling long after treatment ends. It’s not just “in your head”; your whole body responds, too, unless we take action.
So, what can you do?
How to Reset Your Mind and Body After Cancer Treatment
Trauma doesn’t just live in our memories; it shows up in our bodies as tension, pain, and digestive upset. It can cause immune problems and even change our sleep patterns as our cortisol remains elevated. When we notice these physical reactions, it’s natural for our minds to freak out and think our physical symptoms mean something bad is actually happening. It’s not. This is a normal part of how our bodies and minds work together to process difficult experiences.
“We have learned that trauma is not just an event that took place in the past; it is also the imprint left by that experience on mind, brain, and body.”
– Bessel van der Kolk, M.D., The Body Keeps the Score
Normal, yes, but not someplace we want to be forever because, well, it feels icky and it’s not good for us. Thankfully, there are simple tools to help you break out of this cycle and heal.
Below are 5 tried-and-true strategies for AYA survivors and all the caregivers out there. These are gentle, practical strategies that soothe both body and mind, helping them move out of continual fight-or-flight mode. These are the same tactics I developed and curated as a caregiver and have shared with cancer survivors of all ages and caregivers in my work as a global cancer advocate. They are small, actionable things you can do right now, even in the hardest moments, to find a little more calm, connection, and hope as you transition into survivorship. And if you are in active treatment, they will work for you, too! It’s never too early to start.
Name It
When unexplained anxiety or stress hits caregivers and former patients, it’s normal for your mind to go directly into what-ifs and worries. This isn’t you being “dramatic,” it’s your body trying to do its job by looking out for danger. In this case, your danger (cancer) is gone, and your mind just needs a little help to get past the automatic freakout.
When this happens to you, instead of feeling like you are spiraling yet again, take a deep breath and say: “This is a trauma response; everything is just fine.” Give the panic feeling as little attention as possible as you identify it, because this response isn’t you; it’s just a feeling, and you don’t have to give yourself over to it. Observe the feeling, take a deep breath, and tell yourself, “I’m okay right now. All is well.” The minute you do, you take back a little control and begin to shift out of fight-or-flight mode. And if you are the caregiver of a child, you can do it with them.
Ground Yourself
Survivors and caregivers are used to living in a heightened state of stress during treatment and need help on the other side to feel ‘normal’ and balanced again. Grounding is a simple set of practices that help your body and nervous system settle by reconnecting you with the earth and bringing your attention into the present moment. It’s especially helpful for stress regulation, sleep, and feeling safe in your body after physical trauma.
When you “ground,” you’re doing things that:
- Physically connect you to the earth
- Calm your breathing and heart rate
- Help your mind shift out of fight‑or‑flight and into rest‑and‑digest
In some studies, grounding, or earthing, has been reported to improve sleep, normalize day–night cortisol rhythms, reduce pain and stress, shift the autonomic nervous system toward parasympathetic activation, increase heart rate variability, speed wound healing, and reduce blood viscosity.
According to experts, grounding techniques are not simply distractions when you are uncomfortable; they reset your body and mind by pulling your awareness to what’s happening in your body and senses right now. With a grounding practice, you find ways to calm down any time and in almost any place. And it’s so easy to do!
Here’s how a few grounding techniques work:
Walking barefoot on sand or grass
Direct contact with the earth (beach sand, soil, grass) gives sensory input—temperature, texture, pressure—that anchors your attention in your body and the environment instead of in racing thoughts. Fun for both the AYA survivor, young child, or caregiver!
Cool therapy
Drinking or using cool water, a cool pack, or even cool air creates a physical sensation that can interrupt spiraling thoughts and bring attention to the body.
Meditation
Meditation trains your attention to rest in the present and notice sensations without reacting to them. That steady awareness is a powerful form of grounding.
“Sometimes the trauma shows up years after treatment. Grounding reminds me: that was then, this is now, and right now I am safe enough to take one more breath.”
– PTSD UK
Toolkit Tip:
- YouTube has lots of free classes for mind and body work, from breathing practices to meditation. You’ll find classes for all ages and experience levels.
- For those of us who have been through a lot, your water temperature matters. Heat ramps up that hot, flushed, trapped feeling that panic brings, and cold can stress out our nervous system. Cool water slows everything down and eases that wired feeling. Try ending your shower with cool water for 30 seconds, as that’s known to deeply calm your nervous system, and switch from cold water with ice to cool—even once a day.
Check out the resources in the CAC2 Survivorship Toolkit or in The Cancer Parent’s Handbook for more information about grounding techniques.
Breathwork
Breathwork is a highly effective tool you can use to ease anxiety, slow your heart rate, and elicit a relaxation response when unpleasant sensations, feelings, and memories hit, or even during a heated meeting at work. It sends a signal to your nervous system that you are safe, lowers stress hormones, and gently shifts you toward parasympathetic dominance.
There are many breathwork options out there, but Box Breathing and Belly (or diaphragmatic) Breathing are my favorite for regulating your nervous system. I’ll add a third, the 4-7-8 or “Relaxing Breath,” because it’s my go-to when I need to truly wind down.
Here’s how each one works:
Box Breathing
Inhale for 4, hold for 4, exhale for 4, hold for 4. Repeat four times. The four equal counts are where it gets its name, like tracing the four sides of a box. This is my pick when I need steadiness and grounding in the moment, and it’s the same technique used by Navy SEALs and first responders to stay calm under pressure.
Belly Breathing
We naturally breathe from high in our chests when we are stressed, causing us to spiral further. Belly breathing centers the body and mind, and brings us back into the present. When you feel anxious, simply pause and take a deep breath from your belly, pushing it out like you are pregnant!
4-7-8, the “Relaxing Breath”
Inhale for 4, hold for 7, exhale for 8. Repeat four times. That long, slow exhale is the magic here, because a drawn-out out-breath is what most strongly tells your nervous system to settle. This is the one I reach for when I’m winding down anxiety or trying to ease into sleep.
Toolkit Tip:
When you are bogged down with negative thoughts, crank up the radio and sing out loud or hum your favorite songs. The vibrations tell your body that you are safe, and it’s fun! YouTube has breathwork classes of all kinds, for all ages, for free, including my favorite, Yoga With Adriene. Check them out and see what works for you!
Exercise
Exercise is a foundational way to get stronger after treatment, and it doesn’t have to be complicated! Daily walking alone can help you reset when emotions are on overload. I’ve power-walked hospital corridors more times than I can count, sometimes to keep from crying, after a tough conversation with a doctor, even after treatment ended. Taking a moment to breathe and move, before responding to a situation, gives you the space to figure out your next step, even if that step is… nothing.
If movement is already your thing—whether you’re a caregiver easing back in or an AYA patient returning to your sport or the gym—start slowly. Your body (or your child’s) has been through a lot, and pushing too hard can backfire. And for younger kids, movement can simply be play: a backyard walk, a dance to a single song, a gentle stretch or a yoga class together. Just make movement part of your daily schedule.
Nutrition
You’ve heard it a million times, but it’s true: what you eat matters, especially when you have experienced medical trauma as a patient or caregiver. Fuel that beautiful body with protein, leafy greens, and healthy carbs to help you recover. This matters more than most of us realize: childhood cancer survivors face a higher long-term risk of things like heart disease and bone loss than their peers, and a healthy diet is one of the real, everyday ways we can help lower that risk.
During treatment, there were days when I just wanted caffeine and dark chocolate intravenously 24/7. And patients, especially kids, can have an even bigger challenge, especially when they don’t feel well, and nothing tastes good—or worse, they refuse to eat altogether.
As my child’s caregiver (and my Dad too!), I felt responsible for their nutritional health and, frankly, overwhelmed. Then I realized, “Hang on, food is something I CAN control,” and that felt good. The slow realization that food could be fuel for the fight, strengthening our body to handle the rigors of treatment and survivorship, was empowering. More than 85% of kids treated for cancer today go on to become long-term survivors, which means how we nourish these bodies now, for the long haul, truly matters. And I quickly realized good food would help us handle the stress, too, both during and after treatment.
Focus on eating healthy fats, lean protein, dark veggies, and yummy fruits, as they’ll help you thrive and stay strong as you heal and rebuild. Don’t allow a constant bad diet flow to interfere with your health, but also remember to fully enjoy a treat now and then.
Eating healthfully improves your mood, keeps your immune system strong, and can reduce the negative effects of stress on your body. It’s a big deal, so give it some attention and intention.
Toolkit Tip:
A great way to get started is to purge your pantry of everything that tempts you. Replace it with fun but healthy snack options. Instead of chips, try chicharrones, or rice cakes with olive oil and salt (try it, it’s amazing). I would never say not to snack. Just clean out that pantry and reinvent your choices. Shop the perimeter of the grocery store, where you’ll find all the fresh stuff, and avoid the middle where the processed food lives.
Feeling overwhelmed? I get it. There are a ton of resources online, within the CAC2 Survivorship Toolkit or in The Cancer Parent’s Handbook. Use them! Remember, you’ve just run a marathon (or two). Be kind to your body and give it what it needs to heal and be strong forever.
Your Next Step Toward Healing After Cancer
Hopefully, one or more of these 5 strategies resonate for you. Try one and give yourself time and patience to shift out of fight-or-flight mode and into a calmer, more centered way of living as a Survivor.
Next month, check back here for 5 more strategies focused on building your life back post-treatment. Powerful tools for your next, most marvelous step.
If you remember nothing else, remember this:
You’re not alone. I’ve got you.
Frequently Asked Questions
Why don’t I feel relief after finishing cancer treatment?
Many survivors and caregivers expect the end of treatment to feel like pure relief, then feel anxious or on edge instead. After months in fight-or-flight mode, the body can stay wired for danger even once the crisis has passed. This is a normal part of the transition into survivorship, not a sign that something is wrong.
Is it normal to feel anxious or scared after cancer treatment ends?
Yes. Recurring insomnia, panic, irritability, and negative spiraling are common for both survivors and caregivers. These are trauma responses, and naming them for what they are is often the first step toward feeling calmer.
What are grounding techniques and how do they help after cancer?
Grounding is a set of simple practices, like walking barefoot on grass, using cool water, or meditating, that bring your attention into the present moment. They help shift the nervous system out of fight-or-flight and into a calmer, rest-and-digest state, which can support sleep and ease stress.
How does breathwork help with anxiety?
Slow, intentional breathing signals to your nervous system that you are safe, lowers stress hormones, and can slow your heart rate. Techniques like belly breathing and paced breathing are easy to do anywhere, even during a stressful moment at work or a hard day at home.
Can caregivers use these tools too, or just patients?
Caregivers can and should use every one of these tools. Whether you cared for a child or supported a loved one through treatment, your body carries the stress too, and caregiver wellbeing matters just as much as the survivor’s.
Do these strategies work for children and AYA survivors?
Yes. Adolescent and young adult survivors can use most of these tools directly, and caregivers can adapt gentler versions for a younger child, like a barefoot walk in the grass, a dance to one song, or belly breathing together.
